No, actually it's a real dog

"It's a hot dog!"

-Homeless woman at Holloway Avenue & Capitol Street

This is the version of the story I heard. Eric laughed a lot while telling it.

Random woman, also a dog owner: "What's her name?"

Eric: "Bandit."

Woman: "Oh, really? That's not good. It should be Magellan."

Tweakers are definitely not afraid of those 3 little words

The following conversation happened outside of Holloway Market Liquors, and it happened within about 15 seconds.

Tweaker: "Is it a boy or a girl?"

Me: "Girl."

Tweaker: "What's her name?"

Me: "Bandit."

Tweaker (now talking to Bandit directly): "Hi, Bandit. You're so pretty. I love you."

....we start walking away....

Tweaker: "Wait, Bandit! I LOVE YOU!"

"I will protect this house!"

For years we've been saying that Bandit may be a bit racist. She also seemingly hates children. She spends most of her days looking out the window in our second-story apartment and several times a day she manages to see someone (or something) she just doesn't like. While none of these things seem to bother her when they are up-close, they really send her over the edge when they're on a sidewalk in Ingleside. Over time I've managed to pin down her dislikes: 

1. Old people.
2. Children, especially if they are just learning to walk. (Her freak-out meter is at its highest if a child is stumbling and giggling.)
3. People that aren't white. 
4. Anyone yelling in a foreign language.
5. Anyone on a skateboard. 
6. Anyone with an umbrella that's waiting for a bus.
7. Plastic bags blowing in the wind. 

If she sees any of the above, she does one or all of the following.

1. Barks.
2. Growls.
3. Wags her tail. (This confuses me.)
4. Points her front, right paw. 
5. Jumps off of the window seat in the living room and runs into the bedroom to see the same thing from the window behind the bed. 

Because she has a cute face, I pretend her intentions are good. My husband thinks she is trying to protect us and imitates her saying, "I will protect this house!" in a very deep, manly voice. When he does this, I always picture Bandit in a scene from Braveheart. 

AHHHHHHH!!!

Saw this little raccoon face down in the gutter on our morning walk today. Holy crap. Bandit freaked out, inspecting it like she was a police detective trying to figure out a crime that was going to get her the promotion she's been dreaming of. I, on the other hand, freaked out trying to pull her away from it like I was the person that committed the crime. 

We prefer to say "Number 2"

"How's she pooping?"

-A neighbor, taking "personal" to a whole new level

Pretending to not be home is often creepier than actually answering the door

"Hi, Bandit. Hi my baby. I'm just waiting to see if your mom is home. Is she? Okay, I'll try later baby."

- Our upstairs neighbor who saw Bandit's paws under our door and decided to linger