Wednesday, May 29, 2013

"I will protect this house!"


For years we've been saying that Bandit may be a bit racist. She also seemingly hates children. She spends most of her days looking out the window in our second-story apartment and several times a day she manages to see someone (or something) she just doesn't like. While none of these things seem to bother her when they are up-close, they really send her over the edge when they're on a sidewalk in Ingleside. Over time I've managed to pin down her dislikes: 
  1. Old people.
  2. Children, especially if they are just learning to walk. (Her freak-out meter is at its highest if a child is stumbling and giggling.)
  3. People that aren't white. 
  4. Anyone yelling in a foreign language.
  5. Anyone on a skateboard. 
  6. Anyone with an umbrella that's waiting for a bus.
  7. Plastic bags blowing in the wind. 
If she sees any of the above, she does one or all of the following.
  1. Barks.
  2. Growls.
  3. Wags her tail. (This confuses me.)
  4. Points her front, right paw. 
  5. Jumps off of the window seat in the living room and runs into the bedroom to see the same thing from the window behind the bed. 
Because she has a cute face, I pretend her intentions are good. My husband thinks she is trying to protect us and imitates her saying, "I will protect this house!" in a very deep, manly voice. When he does this, I always picture Bandit in a scene from Braveheart.